Being a Cub Reporter on a big city newspaper has its drawbacks... like getting all the garbage assignments that most likely won't make print anyway. That is how I ended up in the courtroom trial of the notorious Big Bad Wolf.

The case was well known. Sloppy reporting had the world thinking Wolf had died in the Red Riding Hood incident, but there he was, sitting in the witness box, sworn in and ready to testify with the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

“Your Honor,” the defense attorney began, “my client has been woefully mis-represented. Even his name is wrong.”

“Please state your name for the records.” The judge looked at Wolf so the witness answered.

“My name is Badewolf... B.G. Badewolf. If you need the full title it is Doctor B.G. Badewolf.”

“Which the newspapers misprinted as Big Bad Wolf.” The attorney seemed pleased to have this point well received by the judge. “Dr. Badewolf is no criminal. He is, in every way, an asset to society.”

The judge once again looked at Wolf... excuse me, Badewolf. “How did these accusations come about then, Dr. Badewolf? How is it that you were even in Grandma's house when Red Riding Hood arrived?”

“Sir, I am a Doctor. Grandma was sick and needed my attention.” He paused briefly, then added “She is the one who called me... why else would she have opened the door when I knocked?”

“Why, then, did Riding Hood attack you?”

“I believe she was upset because I had the medical expertise to identify the apple pie she had for Grandma. It was obviously made with the Wicked Queen's poison apples.”

“So she attacked you?”

“It wasn't just her, Your Honor. Her twin brother was with her to help perpetrate another one of their growing list of forest crimes.”

“Another? Please explain.”

“This vicious pair have been a problem for many years. They have hidden by using several aliases but their crime wave is still well documented. They once stole water from the Forest Hill Water Well as Jack and Jill. They then vandalized poor Mrs. Witchette's gingerbread house. In that crime they even shamelessly littered the forest path with breadcrumbs. She has also been reported as harassing the unfortunate Threebear family under the name of Goldilocks.” He shook his head sadly. “Your Honor, she is an immediate threat to every law abiding forest creature.”

“I notice your own record shows that you have been accused of criminal activity in the past. Can you enlighten the court about that?”

“In my youth, Your Honor, I was well known for my strength. I could easily blow over a house with just a huff and a puff. I once did blow over the houses of two little pigs... quite by accident, Your Honor. In fact, it was that unfortunate incident that changed my life and convinced me to become a doctor.” He took a feeble breath of air. “Now, though, it is a struggle just to blow out the many, many candles on my birthday cake.”

“So this Red Riding Hood person actually aggressively attacked a feeble old doctor who was trying to help a sick lady?”

“That is exactly what happened, Sir.”

The judge slammed his gavel on the desk. “I think we have heard more than enough.” He rubbed his chin in disgust. “Dr. Badewolf, this court apologizes for the atrocious insult that has been cast upon your distinguished integrity. You are obviously no more a big bad wolf than I am. You are free to go Doctor. Case dismissed.” The judge pointed to the Bailiff, anger glowing in his eyes. “Bailiff, I want a warrant put out for this Red Riding Hood. She has some serious explaining to do.”

With that verdict, the defendant rose to his feet and walked to the exit, big teeth showing through his smile. I noticed as he walked past me that a huge, furry tail was wagging with excitement beneath the backside of his coat.

As the judge rose to leave I noticed (I swear this is true) the same kind of furry tail swishing under his black robe.

I put my notepad in my pocket and turned the recorder off. This story couldn't wait. Even though written by a cub reporter, I could actually see it making the front page tomorrow.